Lance Probably Had Help

Dawg,

Is Lance dirty or clean? -Bob, New Bedford, MA

Rob,

Here's the deal with the cheating. Can you name one competitive bike rider who hasn't tested positive or been suspected of doping? I know if they sawed off one of Dawg's nuts, there wsould be a national day of mourning and I sure as shit wouldn't be winning any races, or putting my one good ball in jeopardy by squishing it on one of those bike seats. I mean those things are smaller and harder than seats at Fenway. Apparently asses were a lot smaller in 1906.

But Dawg digresses. I don't freakin know if he's clean or dirty. I do know where there's smoke there's fire. I also know the entire country of France is after Armstrong. They can't stand the idea of a brash Texan kicking their asses up and down the Champs de Lycee. I do know he dumped Cheryl Crow right as she was about to get over ripe, so I applaud him for that. I'm sure he's on to something younger, hotter and probably surgically enhanced.

People are trying to compare him to that fat cheater Clemens, who's ego wouldn't fit in France. Roger is still screaming he's innocent to anyone who will listen, even though they pretty much have all but the needle hanging out of his ass. Turns out Dan Duquette was right on when he let Roger go to Toronto, he probably was in the twilight of his non-cheating career, but was about to enter the cheating part. I mean, I guess I can't say with 100% certainty that he used, but his best friend ratted him out and his wife.....

I think this speaks for itself.....Well, I hope Lance is clean, but if not, at least he beat all the Pierre's in France.