Qaddafi, the Bimbo and some Fried Snikers w/ Baked Beans

Nation:

I write to you imbedded deep in North Korea, so I have to be brief. First off - Wikileaks. Is anyone surpised that Qaddafi was nailing a bimbo? Like he's batshit crazy but a faithful husband? Come on. Or that Iran is devious? Or Saudi Arabia is playing both sides against the middle? What kind of spying is going on here?

Thankfully, they have me working for them now so our leaked information should get much more interesting. For instance, did you know Kim Jong Il wears women's underwear, and bathes in baked beans every night? His son plays with army men and has a penchant for deep fried snickers bars. There's a lot more I'll let Wikileaks leak to you, I don't want to lose anyone a job!

On to more pressing matters of national interest. LeBron. I wonder if he's regretting his decision yet. The Heat have been manhandled by the good teams in the East and look a lot like a mediocre team. In fact, the triple threat looks like they are already out of gas. Bosh is too thin underneath. Wade all of a sudden looks like Scottie Pippen without Michael Jordan and LeBron looks like he's frustrated. What do you expect from a team coached by a 19 year old model?

I'm sure those guys are having a blast in warm Miami, meanwhile, Kevin Garnett and the Celtics are hungry and angry and are set not to be upstaged.

Okay, gotta run and watch this idiot fill his bathtub with beans.

'Dawg

Dawg Style Consequences

Hey Nation,

A lot of you are pretty ticked off about losing V-Mart to the Tigers. I don't have a ton of insight other than I guess pizza pays off, even if it tastes like cardboard and ketchup.

Since It's the offseason, I'm doing some moonlighting for my boys in the CIA in Korea. Let's just say, the next round of artillery will have serious Dawg style consequences. One of the benefits of foreign service for Uncle Sam is the wonderfully exotic women in these remote locations. I can't go into details, but they don't call it Pyong-Tang for nothing. Tomorrow, I'll be swimming across the river to the North Side, to see what Communist delights they offer up after I kick a little ass.

Did you know that hot dogs have a whole other meaning here? I swear I had a Poodle Schnitzel last night. I'm here fighting the fight, while Don is back hom

e sitting in his 24-7 perm-a-tan booth he has in his house. We tell him it's bad for his skin, but he'll probably OD on Doughnut holes before the rays get him.

Okay, gotta run, I want to make sure to devote enough time to my Korean Harem.

Oh, and Daisuke, your wife and my kid say hi.

Hugs,

'Dawg

Howdy Folks,

It's been awhile since I've posted. I was in a Philipino concentration camp, pretending to be a child warrior. Good thing I've maintained my boyish good looks. It seems as though the Red Sox didn't win the World Series when I was gone, but I'll take care of that next year. Now I see the LeBrons are not able to run with Boston's big three. Is anyone surprised at this? You've got those three superstars, one of which would be the 7th man on the Celtics. I'd rather have BigBaby than BabyBosh any day. Despite losing to the Canadiens last night the Bruins are looking tough. I had a chance to see them in Prague when I was meeting with some operatives there, and they look good to me.

Okay, I've got some guns to polish, I'll be back soon with more vital 'Dawg information.