Charlie Sheen, Some Dudes...

Dear Dawg,

What the hell is going on with Wild Thing Rick Vaughn? -Chuck in LA

Dear Chuck,

Some dudes can hold their liquor...coke, whores...whatever. Charlie is just not one of those guys. Do you think every time DeNiro had five whores and a suitcase full of blow we had to hear about it and worry about him dying? Hell no. Some will say the difference is the media spotlight and the TMZs and Perez Hiltons, but let me tell you that in the Dawg's day, we didn't get caught because we weren't a bunch of whimpering pussies with tummy aches.

Sure Butchy got busted getting a bunch of blow shipped to him in a hotel, but even that was long after his playing days. I blew a gasket once when I had a three week straight party in 1978, but I went to an "under the table doctor" who gave me a washcloth and a bottle of scotch while he performed surgery with a rusty scissor. (I think he drank half the scotch btw).

Now, that's not to say I dislike Charlie Sheen. He is a good fella, bought the Dawg a few drinks once in LA near UCLA in 1995, he bought four rounds for everyone in the bar that night and couldn't have been a nicer guy. He's also a big baseball fan and once bought out the entire left field bleachers of an Angels' game to catch homerun balls. Unfortunately for him, if he can't hide his blow a little better, he'll be catching a different kind of balls in prison.

I've got to go, there are five lonely ladies and a suitcase what need Dawg's attention pronto.

Hang in their Charlie, I owe you a drink - anytime bud...

'Dawg