It's Okay to WANT to Shag the Bride

Dawg,

Is it wrong to want to shag a lady who just got married?

Also, what do you expect to see in Boston against the Heat on Sunday? Harry, England

Dear Harry,

As you know, I've been an agent for the US Government for decades. That means my services extend to our allies, the queen's realm and her colonies (even the poor ones).

Several years ago William asked me to sample the goods before he dipped his royal golden penguin in there. Just to make sure it was safe and riddle-free. Needless to say, Will's a lucky man.

Son, it's okay and natural to WANT to shag the bride. I mean back in the olden days, you knew the bride was going to be getting the high hard one for the first time ever that night, so naturally every guy at the wedding would look at her and think - oh yeah.

These days, unless you are in Tennessee and marry your 14 year old cousin, odds are they've already had sex with every wedding guest, both ways, even Uncle Sid. So yeah, somehow our DNA tells us they are about to be deflowered, even though the truth is, they were doin' it at 14. The trick is, don't bang the bride at the wedding, unless the groom owes you money (right Dustin?)

I expect to see a green wave, cooling off the Heat. (Celtics win this series in 6).

'Dawg

also say a prayer for an old buddy, he's going to have a shitty month, D. Lowe