Osama Bin Clownfish

Dear Dawg,

Any inside info on Bin Laden? -B.H.O., D.C.

Nation,

Did you really think I've had the "flu" this whole time? Obviously there were some pics of me at the Royal Wedding, but even those were fake. I was able to pose with Kate and Will a few weeks ago so Al Qaeda didn't know we were on to OBL. It was a simple mission, we flew in under the cover of day, and kicked some Qaeda ass.

Bin Laden was wearing pink briefs and eye make up and had a Jeter shirt on. When I capped his ass, he was begging me to save him, offering me riches and virgins. I told him Dawn already had all those things and put that dog down without saying another word. Because Dawg is respectful of other cultures, we buried him within 24 hours of death by dumping his skinny ass in the ocean.

If you are a fan of Bin Laden and want to pay last respects, I believe the military is offering to transport you right to the grave site so you can pay your respects up close and personal, at the bottom of the ocean. Thanks Navy Seals, President Obama and the intelligence infrastructure! Dawg