Nobody is Worth What That Fancy Prancing Cheater Makes

Dawg,

Is the Machine worth A-Rod $$? Would you pay him enough to date Cameron Diaz? Alec, Arlington

Dear Alec,

Nobody is worth what that fancy prancing cheater makes, but if you were to ask who deserves to be the richest player in baseball, playing for the best fans, greatest ownership group in the best city and state in the country?

The answer is yes. If you can convince the Machine to platoon at first/DH with Gonzalez, the Red Sox lineup becomes unbelievable. I he were to come to Boston, that old hag Cameron Diaz wouldn't be fit to shine his shoes. Plus, he wouldn't have that nagging fear AROD has that at any moment of any day, Varitek could be preparing to dish out another glove sandwich for his pretty boy face. Plus, Pujols wasn't caught with a syringe hanging out of his ass like AROD. He's the real deal, the natural...I'd love to see him in a Red Sox uniform. I feel so strongly about it that his first hotdog is free at the grill.

'Dawg