Dear Dawg, I saw the Red Sox beat the Yankees last night. Do you think that's an omen for the season or just a goofy spring game in March? Moammar in Tripoli
Dear Moammar,
When I played, Spring Training was a time to reaquaint yourself with the lifestyle of a ball player. You need to get yourself in shape, and ready for the grueling long haul of the season. That meant drinking: Morning, noon and night. We didn't have natural energy drinks, the clear, the cream and whatever else science gave these guys to make it through a season. We had amphetamines, beer and loose women to get us through the 'Dawg Days of summer. We didn't have all the trainers and nutritionists around that these guys have now. We had Mickey Mantle and Babe Ruth as role models who both indulged in everything they could get their hands on and turned out to be pretty decent ball players.
Can you imagine if Mickey Mantle was sober and not a womanizer? He'd have hit .220 and had fourteen homeruns a year. The Babe would have been a light hitting second baseman, if not for Hot Dogs and Harlots. I think today's players would be wise to look back at their predecessors. They'd probably look like fat slobs, and run like them, but they'd be larger than life super heroes instead of boring, protein powder eating pussies who crawl into hyperbaric chambers for sprained ankles and bruises on their vaginas. By the way, 'Dawg's spring training routine remains the same. 'Dawg
No comments:
Post a Comment