Tito and the Most Dangerous Game

RD,

I wanted to warn you and your readers about a dangerous binge drinking game kids have been playing around here lately. I heard some BC kids on the T talking about taking a sip of orange-berry schnapps every time Tito spits in the dugout. My friend got a packie at the liquor store and decided to try it. Dawg, he was dead by the 3rd inning. I am devastated and I think your readers should never try and play chicken with Tito's saliva.

Also Dawg, what do you think about Wakefield. Is he going to be all right?
-Donny, Dorchesta

Donny,

Is there a different kind of drinking than "dangerous binge?" Seriously, Last year Don ended up with a second wife in Tijuana after the Angels series. Not all that horrible, except his bride was a three legged donkey. Tito has a glandular problem, Spitosis - another sufferer must be that Garza kid with Tampa Bay. I think they can call a rainout on a sunny day when he pitches. Plus, if not the saliva game wouldn't it be something like "references to Michael Jackson" on CNN or "times David Caruso touches his sunglasses" on CSI Miami?

I spoke with Tito a few weeks ago about Wakes. Let's just say he's here with me, in Monaco doing some undercover work. Let's just say his super strong knuckles made him a required player in my current assignment. I'll cut him loose in a few weeks...

-Dawg