Feel Bad for the Yankees?

Dawg,

On Saturday night I was in St. Brendan's in Dorchester lighting a candle for Rondo's ankle when I felt something on my arm. I 1st thought it was Father Mark looking for a hand job for old ties sake but as I turned I realized it was one of the Steinbrenner brothers, praying pitching. D, Should I feel bad for him? -Fitzy

Dear Sully,

It's good that you were in church, and because of your anecdote, I know you are a lying dick. First off, Father Mark doesn't touch adults. Secondly, I think it's pretty clear that the Steinbrenners don't "pray" to God. In fact, they have a family deal with Satan. Don't you worry about 'Lil Steins as I like to call them, they have all the money in the world (actually only 93.7% of all money) and will find someone to buy sooner or later. I think they can also call up one of their golden armed minor leaguers. I see one of their pitchers has been "lights out" in the Dominican Summer League, and those innings are almost exactly like facing major leqague competition. (That's called sarcasm, Sully). All I know for sure is that Andy Pettite can pretty much dictate the terms of his contract. If I were him, I'd fleece those fat inheritors until they end up scrubbing barnicles off boat bottoms to make ends meet. -'Dawg