Back to the Booth

Dear Nation,
As you know, or may have heard, I'm coming back to the booth to pretend to like that fat bag of crap Orsillo. Usually, I spend a lot of time dreaming up exciting ways to kill him during the games. It usually involves a tanning bed and steak knife.
I'm happy to be temporarily stepping away from my covert career and going back to baseball. I miss the profits, the young ladies throwing themselves at me (Every day is Mardi Gras for the Dawg), and the witty banter with Don. (kidding about the last one). Tonight I'll be looking at that fella who is attached to the world's largest adam's apple, AJ Burnett. What a douche. Can you imagine having an arm like that and being a half assed pitcher? I played the last five years of my career unable to walk, just because I loved the game. Someone needs to jam a pen in his adam's apple and end his misery. I might just be the man to do it.
Dawg