The Truth About Abby Chin

Readers,
As an undercover intelligence operative for the U.S. Government during the Red Sox off-season, many of you know the perils I endure. My undercover work allows me to rest and take my mind off baseball after a long season. I need to deliver the best product in the booth for you - the viewer, despite what Don does behind the camera with fancy European tanning oil and black market hair spray.

Jumping out of airplanes while drinking champagne, boxing Russian bears, surfing websites without authentic security certificates, and of course, having deep and meaningless relations with Katy Perry (call me), are the side of Dawg the public knows. It's an image I must maintain.

However, it may come as a surprise to many of you that I have an on-again, off-again relationship with Celtics sideline reporter Abby Chin. When I say relationship, I mean Abby Chin has absolutely no idea who I am. As a sideline reporter for CSNNE, Abby is as knowledgeable about the intricacies of basketball as she is poised and confident under the pressure of Tommy Heinsohn's reddening cheeks while he bellows at her about foul shot discrepancies and team defense.

You can only imagine my shock when Abby retweeted a Dawg-ism last night during the Cs game. My skin turned whiter than Mike Gorman's hair, my thoughts more confused and disconnected than Dave Cowen's studio analysis. Did Abby really know how I felt about her? 

But alas it was only a quick push of a button during the hot passion of a tight Celtic's game. It doesn't take much effort to thumb an iPhone. The truth about Abby Chin is that she will be wooed away from the game by no man, even one as manly as Dawg. She cares only for the 12 man squad that is the Boston Celtics and that is why we love her so much. 

This comfort I will take with me as I tumble out of an F-16 over an undisclosed location somewhere near Yemen tonight with only my wits and a 35 year old bottle of cognac to accompany a lonely but contented heart in a 920 mph free fall. Duty calls Nation. Go Celtics. -Dawg

p.s. That block by Olynyk was completely badass, keep the kid Danny.