I Wouldn't Trust Him to Sell Tacos

Dawg,

I knew going into the season that Valentine was an egotistical jerk, but I thought he was supposed to be a good in game manager. So far he has kept Bard and Morales in way past their expiration date.  When is Tito coming back? -Worried in Worcester

Worried, 

Although it may seem like I’ve been calling games since 1^st pitch this year, I’ve been away helping the president get ready for a trip to Columbia (it looks like he won’t be needing me for a while though so I'm back). 

That’s actually been my robot double in the booth constructed of Wally innards, old sausages and Don’s empty tanning bottles. Don has no idea. Pretty good imitation, right? The front office told Don his old bottle collection had to "moved" to make room for a moustache collection. 

At this point Mr. Valentine couldn't scrub the wax off Tito’s forehead, who must be laughing somewhere under a waitresses skirt right now. The Red Sox are terrible and the rest of baseball knows it. The Sox ownership has made a huge mistake in bringing in a man who can’t manage a simple game. Take away the Tampa series and this is the worst team in the game. At this point, I don’t think I’d trust Bobby to sell tacos out of the trunk of my car.

Can’t wait for the Yanks this weekend, let’s hope Granderson is particularly susceptible to soft starting pitching and a weak bullpen. But have no fear nation, I think this team will eventually thrive despite this moron. Who knows, maybe he's even gone by the break? We'll always have the Olympics and these two.