Diapers or Beer?

Dear Dawg,

I was wondering if you, in your free time, could ever offer financial advice during steakout breaks while a mission. You seem to have a minute or two on this blog while waiting on dictators and warlords to enter and exit buildings. RD, I miss your sage wisdom from the booth. Plus my Wally doll is starting to turn brownish-yellow, kind of like when the flower died whenever they found ET in ditch somewhere.

The other day I was in CVS and had only $8.97 . My wife had asked me to pick up diapers on my way home but I was also all out of beer. I was about to grab a 6er of Heiny when my scrotum started to ache. After much debate next to the very reasonably priced shampoo section, I bought diapers for my son. Dawg, did I do the right thing?

Also Dawg, please let us know about what you’re doing this week, mission-wise. Don said something about you working an op in Delaware. Something about a hidden microchip in Biden’s forehead mole. Don talked all about it but Bay was at bat and I was adjusting my television color’s balance because again, Don looked like a spicy hot Cheetoe. Thanks for any help you can give RD. – Sully in Woostah.

Sully,

Diapers are important - no doubt about that. But, if you went through CIA advance survival training, you'd know you could have drank the beer and mashed up the six pack carton until it was a soft pulp, then pull the label off your beers and use them as a wet shield. Then you are maximizing your supplies. There's always a way to kill two birds with one stone.

As for the Wally doll - No returns on those so, I refuse to acknowledge that one of them is less than perfect. I suggest buying three more Wally Dolls and hermetically sealing two of them so they don't fade. Also, I'd wash that down with 3 hotdogs and six beers from my hotdog stand in Fenway.

As you probably know, I can't discuss my ops until after they are done. Let's say I might be state side, or I might be in the Philippines.

Don's makeup lady, Ethel Brutz, is 97 years old and color blind. We just don't have the heart to tell her Don looks like a rotten pumpkin every night. -RD