Dawg, 
I know he tore his ACL but the way he looked writhing on the ground, it seemed like Mo got snipped by Sirhan Sirhan. How did you do it Dawg? Will the Yankees be ok? -John, North Haven


J, 
The Dawg has never been a fan of any Yankee, any ex-yankee, any family member (distant relatives count) or fans of those assholes in Pinstripes.  Did you know they came out with Yankee cologne and perfume this year?  It smells like the Men's room at Old Yankee Stadium on $1.00 beer night during a janitor's strike.  I have to admit to fantasizing about razor blading Mariano's achilles when I was in an elevator with him several years back.  In fact, I had my hand on a knife and was salivating over that stick-like chicken leg, thinking I could end his career in a nano second and be on my merry way, the savior of Redsox Nation.

I must also admit to making fun of Mariano when he electrified his swimming pool and a few family members became Rivera Flambe when they mistakingly jumped into his private, not to be touched by other humans, swimming pool.  I mean, that was a dick move, no?

All that said, of the yankees I have watched over the years Mariano is most definitely the most talented and likable of the lot.  He's a class act and the best relief pitcher of all time (apologies to Mark Clear).

But to answer your question, bleachers, straw in drink is actually a dart gun, dart is actually a microbe that eats away at cartilage.  Two shots, one to the MCL, one to the ACL for good measure.  Career OVAH.

'Dawg