Sunday, April 13, 2014

Dawg, did you bang any supermodels during your break?


c/o Ashley#HandsOffSyria

Dawg, We are so glad you are back in the booth so Don can now focus on his orangeness. Will you be lacing up your skates to help the Bruins for the NHL playoffs?


Also, did you bang any supermodels during your break? -Joe, Hahtford

John,
I'd say it's good to be back in the booth, but I'm getting sympathetic burns from Don's brilliant orange hue after he spent three months in the sun without one drop of sunscreen.  As you all know, it's been tough for me and my fake family recently.  

My fake son, Jared has been in a little hot water over a murder or two.  But, all of that is a diversion for my real work which has been tracking Vladimir.  I say tracking, but really we hang out. He knows I'm there to watch him, so he sets the 'Dawg up with drinks, Russian models and top notch Russian Vodka.  Between the Hootch and the Kootch, let's just say I may have taken my eye off the prize a little when dude decided to invade the Ukraine. 

So, as punishment, I'm back in the booth with the second sun, Don.  The Sox are looking a little rusty, but hey - they are the world series champs, so I'll give them a pass.  The Bruins won the President's Trophy which is like going to the prom with the hottest girl in school and not getting to first base.  They are in it to win it, and will hopefully bang that prom date in the process.
That said, I hope nobody ever has to see Chara's "o" face.
Respectfully, 'Dawg

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